Afraid?
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
As the day draws nearer, fear begins to set in my heart.
I guess I have too much time to think about it and that's why I'm having fear in me. I'm not bombarded with assignments from school just yet and with that ample time that I have in my hands, not really that much but more than what others have, I begin to think of many things.
Speculate no longer. It's not going to be released on the 18th.
Oh, the Os results. After months and months of pushing myself and going forth, it all comes back to me in one slip of paper. I don't really know how much I will score, with all the scoring background that I have, mid-years as well as prelims, I didn't score as well as many others and that was when my faith leaked and I began to doubt at times. But seriously, it took my lots of faith to really believe for what God has installed for me.
It just seemed to be like weeks ago that I was doing up my D&T folio, getting ready for submission, stayed back late in school to complete my folio as well as to study, but in actual fact just a little. It's just those times which made Sec 4 fun and it's all these things which Sec 4 was all about.
I remember all the time, my report book comes back with all kinds of results. I'm not like a perfect scorer of 6 or neither am I a slacker with results of 54. I'm just an average person though, but lower than average in the sense compared to the whole level of Sec 4s. People ask me what happened and seriously, I don't know. I studied and I made sure my studying methods are suitable for me and effective as well, but somehow the results were just not coming out.
I blogged about the greatness and the goodness of God all the time. And I'm sure people will begin to doubt that when I get back my results and to their standard, it isn't good. But I don't really care much about that. Everyone has their own right to believe in what they believe in and for my case, I'm believing in a God whose ways and thoughts are higher than ours so for many people it's difficult for them to accept it.
Many people have different expectations of their own: Smart kids will cry if they get 10. Average kids will cry if they get 25 or something. I don't know, I'm just guessing around. Afterall, I don't see why people have to judge each other based on their own results and using theirs as a benchmark to gauge others.
Increasing competitiveness amongst peers brings about peer pressure. How many can really say they study because they love the subject, and not because others are doing well and they're not? No point studying if you're doing so because of peer pressure. What's the point my friend? Especially when you're not enjoying what you're studying and doing so for the sake of doing it.
But we really don't have any choice, do we? I'm just like any other victims of Singapore's education system. If I have the chance, I would love to choose my own subject combination. Throw away Geography Elect. and replace it with Photography; something like that. With that, I will definitely love to study but no, this is not reality. This is just a dream.
But in anything that happens, I'll give thanks to God, for if not for Him I will not have survived till today. Haha, thank God for no more suicidal thoughts. Haha, some of you will be surprised. A jovial person like me could have suicidal thoughts before? Oh, yes, that's true. Haha, but that was a long long time ago. Once upon a time. My fulfilling life now comes from the Lord. Praise the Lord.
(Sidetracking)
(Not a good job done. I can't be bothered doing a good one.)
I'm still fed up with what the garmen is doing. Even before my school starts I have to pay adult fare already. What is this? I went to purchase a concession pass at the start of this month and the lady at the Ticketing counter told me that I have another half a month left before my card expires. So I thought, no point purchasing a concession pass when I spend like $30 on transport within half a month and that's the same amount I have to pay.
On the exact date of 15 January 08, my concession privileges were cut off. Only except for now I get to enjoy student meals from Macdonald's', Burger King and KFC. I'll be getting my Matriculation Card this Friday, which is the 18th. I mean like, come on lah, 3 days only, you so niao (stingy) for what?
Money has been deducted from my EZ-Link card like the water of the river flowing downstream. And the minimum top-up value of my card must be $10. Wah lao, now I want to go somewhere far to galan galan also must think twice.
The only advantage that JC people have is that they still pay a concession fee of $27.50 while I have to pay $52. This is utter crap I tell you.
Labels: Daily rant
posted by Rod @ 11:48 PM,
